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but uh, yesterday, i was telling you about how house reminded me about lauren. uh, do you wanna hear why? well basically, do you remember how, well first remember the episode. house is in the ward, getting better, some girl visiting another starts seeing him. she's married with kids but she kisses house. and the pressure of her friend being sick made her have a breakdown. so while she had a breakdown house to her over to his place and slept with her. and apparently he cried when they were doing it. then later when he makes the girl better he hears his girl is leaving. but not from her but from his doctor. so he gets a day pass goes to her house and talks to her face to face. and she basically kindof was like, go away. and so house comes back and is like i don't know what to do, tells his doctor. and by addressing his problem and opening up to his doctor, he actually bought his way out of the place with that. 'cause his problem was he'd go to vicodin instead of talking
so, this is similar to the lauren situation in a couple ways. so basically like, the whole way that lauren and i got to know each other. basically you could say that robs house was the ward. and all of us there were kinda fucked up. we were just i guess you could say trying to make ourselves feel better without doctors. and so it was there that i basically met damien's girlfriend lauren. and so we kept on seeing each other and we liked each other. but the thing was that she had a boyfriend. so that kindof had a line that kept anything frmo happening. but... when vivek died, then like lauren showed up at my house, and she was just like completely distraught. and like... and like basically so was I. so we consoled each other and basically we ended up sleeping with each other. now the whole deal with like houses's girl moving. well the same thing happened to me with lauren. 'cause she moved in with damien and she kinda left me at the doorstep just like that girl did with house.
so for me that whole episode was like really reminicent of like what happened between me and lauren. so what do you think about all that? like is there anything new that you've learned about it? is there a new aspect of it that you now understand better? does it make a little more sense or shed a little more light?
"'cause the both of you lost a friend the both of you were down so you went to each other."
thats pretty spot on. but i dont think youve ever thought about it like that before have you?
"yeah i have."
like when.
"i mean just about every time you takl about the vivek thing. vivek dies lauren comes over and you sleep with her. and to me two people they feel bad their friend is gone they go to each other and just take out the emotion by sleeping with each other."
i wouldnt say taking out the emotion. maybe filling the hole with a distraction. like supporting each other in some way. when people are completely shaken by something powerful, they need something to ground them. thats what they want because it feels terrible not to have that. like a couple days ago when i realized all that shit about my past. and you basically told me about some of the shit you did in boston and i was listening to sigur ros. the same way i did that to make me feel better there, thats how lauren and i did it when vivek died. now the way we solved it wasnt the best thing in the world because it didnt really solve anything. but with you and me you know i sat down and thought about stuff alot before you made me feel better. and thats the important thing youve always gotta take the time to thikn about stuff. so you cuold say im becoming a little bit more functional and stuff.
but there was another aspect to the whole thing. basically like - how house was going to that treatment place in the first place. if something bothers you you've gotta get it off your chest and talk about it. that's what i've been doing for the past couple years and it's been helping me out. and something ellen just said kinda struck me too. if you keep things bottled up inside, you don't know what you've got hidden away. so when i opened myself up and talked about my past and felt that fear, that was a surprise. but thats the thing youve gotta talk about those things that bother you. basically its like in the past alot of fucked up things happened and in order to get over them we've gotta talk about them. as we talk about them we express those emotions and they become things we can deal with. but the most dangerous thing is an emotion you havent expressed and dont even know is inside you. thats kinda something ive learned this week. but what do you think?
"i like the whole thing that ellen said. 'cause it makes alot of sense. the quote that you made. [house] well obviously its a good thing for him because he's going to people and telling stuff about him instead of keeping it to himself."
i think that's clearly what we all need to do. i mean like... given this freedom away from my parents, and like not being around columbus either, there's alot of possibility that i get to be able to do some good. i dont understand why my dad keeps calling to be honest he should be facebooking me.
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