metric spurring on memory of college and highschool

i'm listening to metric and i feel like talking about the past. specifically the college years.

alot of positive things happened in college. i got into alot of new music. all through this site called oink.me, british, with all sorts of different styles of music. and yeah, i would sit in my room, and just listen to music all day long. i used to watch donnie darko alot. and the song... i forgot the name, but i used to listen to that one alot. bloc party was an exciting new band back then. sigur ros was amazing but i dont think i got too into them until sophomore year.

freshman year memories?

well the first thing'd be like, the orientation. i went down with my group, the international affairs scholars. i still had the turban and beard, and got lots of positive questions and comments. when i said i played guitar & music i got alot of positive stuff from that too. girls and guys alike both seemed to kinda gravitate to me so i was kinda floored by that. i was looking forward to having a great year. i dont remember any of my classes from my freshman year. like... i just dont recall what i took, at all. but i remember the room. i was in a building called morrison tower. in the corner. i had a 3 bed room with two roommates. ive written alot about the roommates, but i had 2 to start, rem and... mark? and both left one by one. i was told i was too messy, by others, but i never really got straight answers as to why. i guess mark just moved out to live with his better friends. of course i felt let down. i was young. i just like... felt shitty about it. why did these kids not want to be my friend, instead the neighbors, and why was i so shitty as to be worthy of moving away from. but that's how it went down. and then there was rem, the second of the original two. he was a dude i recognized from my after-prom. he played sax in the band, i drove my beamer there, with... kristen... a girl who i basically have visited a bit since then but i didnt really well along with at all. like she was just fucking uptight as hell. thats probably telling anita about for a laugh.

but yeah... rem left. and i was by myself. but this didn't last, i had a football player shoved in there. he left for bigger and better things, had the connections as a player... i never really spoke with him much, again most of what i heard was either highly suspicious crap from the kid but he did basically get outa there real quick. and yeah... then he was out, and they stuck in... another guy. this one was a dude who literally dealt weed out of the room. crazy shit hah. he got kicked out after literally screaming at the dude down on the first floor. alot of this stuff i just remember observing, like as if i wasn't directly involved. there was another instance where i found a kid lying on the floor just as you walk in, turned out he was strung out on heroin he told tales of being like rich with horses, who he'd sold for junk. i didn't know if i could believe a word he said, but i'd grown up having been taught by my parents to trust all indian people, so i just kinda gave him this respect that perhaps he didn't deserve. perhaps vivek got the same thing. i don't know. but its weird. that guy was just like lying there, and there was like nobody around nobody to help him or anything. and weird thing was he wasnt even asking for help. he was just that out of it.

but there were many nights of drinking. and not healthily, but like... excessive binges with kids who had no futures or at least thought it. gregs place, kirbys place, my place. name the spot, we'd drink. the shot, the beer. whatever. the cheapest was best as tey were perpetually poor and it kinda got you more beer for the limited funds they usually had. i just went with it, i had all the money i needed, but i didnt really feel welcome spending any of it either, as my folks, doctors though they were, had really encouraged me to spend frugally. so thats kinda how i was... to start. weed got involved at some point, like chris kinda like introduced us to weed. he had some hookup someplace, and we used it to get some. i mean i doubt id ever have come in contact with the stuff had i not know the guy. i mean i didnt know the first thing about where to get the stuff, or even like... what you'd even do with it. but yeah. classes were a blur. i probably didnt go to many, i dont know. it was a whirlwind, that first year. i dont remember too much of it. i spent alot of nights in my room probably freezing cold huddled by the pc. one warm spot was when i met shirley. shirley temple, she was a friend of tora's, who i'd previously gone after. in between there was joelle. but yeah shirley and i never really hit it off. i guess like... looking back... i was too immature. i mean everything was a blur then. and i had noone who helped focus me. not my folks, or anyone else. like my folks had made cutting my beard a sin, so for that, and the third culture kid shit i experienced, i mean i was just not in the mood to deal with them any longer, they had soured our relationship with years of shady shit.

so like, yeah, without role model, i gravitated to people similarly as nihilistic and directionless. heh... and in a way they gave me a direction, a purpose, to be as fucked up as i could be. as drunk... and yeah ive beenthinking lately of things that like your situations can enable, like your background and circumstances that can enable happenings. so like... the network of friends i had, that i'd carried from highschool, enabled much drinking. however snice the kids were all antisocial the party scene was out. and so i never got laid freshman year. that was one thing i was like... hugely against. i mean like, no dating in highschool. then like, a few awkward relationships freshman year. cause after shirley there was... carla. and she was weird. like as a relationship. i met her over in bolivia, where i went with the IA scholars, and me and a jewish kid had a fight essentially over who could get her, and in the end i guess i did. but then i didn't do much with her at all so there's that. but shirley was the one who i felt the biggest like... i guess... anything with. like i just was rediculously joyous aruond her, but like... it just ended. i dont know where it went, and i guess you could say i enjoyed what i could get but i didnt know enough to key into it and do anything iwth it. that's something that'd come much much later, after years of just slowly learning it all. good old parents and their backwards views on dating. thats right, restrict your kids for religious reasons, don't explain it to them, don't explain it as a choice, just brainwash them that their chosen religion is your prison.

besides those two, there was a brief period where i was after joelle, another brief period where i was after tora.

listening to metric just makes me feel young. makes me feel like how i did when i was in college that first year. like... anything was possible, at least i felt, and like... every day and night was exciting. and like... this record was one of those exciting things, somthing i can enjoy even today. so its like, in a way, parts of those times are still with me, with the music. much like in a way, massive attack's 100th window is with me from those days, portishead's everything is with me from that freshman year again, most of radiohead's stuff from that freshman year, franz ferdinand, postal service, bloc party, modest mouse, are all with me. its interesting how music can stay with you like that. like, for me, the japanese trip i took in highschool in MVS had a few albums surrounding it, jurassic 5's power in numbers, and then supercar's single, plus massive attack's 100th window. this was back in 2001 i'm guessing. between fall '01 and summer '02. my junior year @ mvs.

and yeah, back to college. this album, metric's '03 release Old World Underground. well, i was a freshman @ osu fall '03 to summer '04. that was my tenure @ school. and i vaguely remember that first summer back home too, like i was messaging folks n stuff. was kinda interesting. like AIM and all that junk. but yeah i felt freer then than i do now. but yeah... things went sour. really sour. drugs, alcohol, skipping classes, getting a letter reading i was under warning, then another letter saying i was suspended. then i tried columbus state, i hated it, i left. i tried wright stat,e i was turned down. i tried ohio state again, i left soon after applying.